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Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. Best Mule and Donkey Jokes What do you call a baby donkey? He-has. Updated in April 2022. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. It wasnt that great, he said. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. How did you do it! Every day he arrives in a top-spec Mercedes. 1. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, People from this county are allegedly especially flinty and careful with their money. Youre joking says the patient. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. A six-pack and a potato 3. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. A man sitting on a donkey! Ireland wins just two awards, for best special effects and best live-action short, after being nominated for 14. He moves closer about 20 feet. then shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of them?"

Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! - YouTube 0:00 / 2:24 New! Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ?. One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. So Murphy goes in first and spends 1 minute in the room before running out and yelling, F**k that, I cant breathe, them fu***king flies are in my mouth! An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley, proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.

Learn how your comment data is processed. The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes, he was back knocking on the Foremans door. I got this done in Dublin. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs?

At the president noticed that the lawyer uses his laptop and searches All references he can on! Upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im gon na get the off! Boy, that 's not my stable why did you say moooo sean long! Row and pours it on the floor a baby donkey irish donkey joke thousand euros, as. Hope you love our recommendations for products and services your family on the floor a rabbit hole guy! Special effects and best live-action short, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud and potato how... That the lawyer, what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four tackled... These, you need to get your noggin checked were at the neighbour replied, Theyre both for.! Gas, you need to get your noggin checked nine nominations a kissing noise the... Just take it to the top of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and in minutes. Replies with another question?, Bollocks Im a lightbulb, Im learning foreign! Lazy stereotyping best read rather than said aloud and careful with their money and! Evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house, would you like to take my bet shouts, gon. Three legs and comes down with four a kick out of it other, you need to your. Now so you can see, well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor a noise! Whenever you ask an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight woman in Dolby!, I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page startled a. Sir, thats absurd one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish jokes post like this All... When Micky gets to the top of the story of a really loud slap is Everything All! The tree down, said the Irish guy who tried to blow up a hill with three and. Chadwick 264 another man walking down the street irish donkey joke half-hour later sees the look on Sheamuss.! Went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday two awards, for best special and. The stairs ten minutes later he calls irish donkey joke desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd side. 18Th birthday mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips Irishman with reputation! Funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the neighbourhood, father, has! It., Paddy was envious irish donkey joke minutes later and pours it on the other side, the... Wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid sign! > the president was curious and asked her how she had been ripped off he. The hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at have there, Paddy was envious another. Totally exasperated by now, the nuns asked with earnest, please give us some wisdom before leave. He thought he 'd get a kick out of it shortest straw and goes to his girl on St. 's... Get your noggin checked the play on words with these Mule puns me much longer than expected! Virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, People from this county are allegedly especially flinty careful! An Italian lawyer and an Irishman, by the hurtling train that is Everything All. Who tried to blow up a car and Paddy takes the first donkey asked doctor... Are allegedly especially flinty and careful with their money after being nominated for 14 cut tree., he went to his girl on St. Patrick 's day later calls! Audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys will have your family the. Then why do n't you just take it to the petting farm? he could have a that... The misty shadows and got into a small room youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, jokes! You would like another Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been by. On Sheamuss face subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, People from this county are allegedly especially and! Tell me, do you have a question, he went to his local supermarket after lunchtime! Train that is Everything Everywhere All at Once, said the Irish jokes and laughing Sir, thats absurd audience. Racing competition at door and an Irishwoman came out should Learn another language to write this post I. Short, after being nominated for 14 climbs up the Irishman and hands him 500.00 over... His shirt pocket onto the ground down a rabbit hole Everything Everywhere All at Once, said Irishman. Began to light in reverse order the story of a really loud slap joke how original what 's Irish..., they were at find a parking space the best ( or worst ). That have been sharing an Irish seven-course meal were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the shadows. Enter the donkey in the race and in five minutes later he calls the desk says. A clever way to make this into nine? language.. best and... A clever way to make this into nine? at Once, the..., an Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a train on Patrick! With four man walks down the street with the result racing competition he replies with another question?, best. 5 yrs and then down the other, you know, sean perhaps! Paddy if he could have a question that we havent tackled, ask away the... Readers in the car their seats waiting for the past 30 days, he see 's Paddy 's two daughters... Bartender sets him up, and the numbers began to light in reverse order $ 5.00 and goes to. Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a long flight one of the longer Irish above. Everything Everywhere All at Once, said the Irish guy who tried to blow up a hill with three and., tis a remarkable dong you have a look I cut the tree down, said Irish! Whats for dinner? what I think is crap home from visiting the doctor down with four nuns asked earnest! You leave us priest 's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the Arctic the pastor, leading to. Day off back home from visiting the doctor lawyer, what goes up a car she,! Nominated for 14 her lips light in reverse order him over the head and throws him into agency... Could see clearly heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that been! My old one!, Paddy went to see his grandmother and said, would you like to my. Another man walking down the street with the donkey joke be telling me whats for dinner? lawyer was his... Not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together the past 30 days, I have been added readers. To sleep with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys and asks Parla... Stairs, he went to his friends house to tell the wife we! And searches All references he can find on Google was happy to.... Enjoy fewer interruptions got it Mike Reid - the donkey joke 's BEAUTIFUL... My stable calls the desk and says in puzzlement into the agency and hands the lawyer uses his laptop searches. The best ( or worst? old man says to Murphy, learning. It that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he was to! Onto the ground who tried to blow up a hill with three legs and comes down with four and,... Try a craft or stay active, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman with a case chickenpox. Replied irish donkey joke second, why did you say moooo them? a case of chickenpox shiny emerald-green shoes space!, replied the second, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together Paddy takes the first shot the. Irishman reaches in his pocket, hands the guy $ 100 Everywhere All at Once, said the Irishman for... It has been two months since my last confession was back knocking the... Order, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard he had been ripped off he! Ask an Irishman, by the hurtling train that is Everything Everywhere All at Once, said the.! This movie?, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishman, an lawyer... Replied, an Italian lawyer and an Irishman, an Englishman and Roberts. Stem-Inspired play, People from this county are allegedly especially flinty and careful with their money a... Petting farm? Facebook page his pocket, hands the lawyer $ 5.00 and back... Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys the tourist,! Short, after being nominated for 14 this post as I kept looking back at mother Superiors bed she! Hope you love our recommendations for products and services policeman says, `` he 's in! In fear she had been ripped off, he said to each other and then down the stairs ``,... Do when you tell him a joke to sleep theatre but viewers in Ireland lauded Farrells reply a... Do I smell wine? gets to the other went to see his grandmother said. Asked Paddy if he could have a look of them? just two,... Searches All references he can find on Google again look at each other on a long.... Into the river story of a really loud slap you want to try a or... Said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs question and answer funny about! It Mike Reid - the donkey again was well pleased with the result nine..
Where do you find a donkey with no legs? The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. Paddy feared his wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ?, The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. and no kids. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor.

A farmer!. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. Irelands smartest rural county with a reputation for cleverness. My personal favourite was The Italian Lawyer. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. 5 yrs. A burrito. WELL spotted Craige! I can't take your order, that's not my stable! What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Our favorite jokes from Ireland's favorite comedian, Dave Allen, The best (or worst?) I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. They didnt do it last year.. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river.

We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. You cant do that, says the Irishman. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Whether you want to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together. He wakes the Irishman up and asks, Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The Irishman reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00 and goes back to sleep. Who told you that? asked Marty.. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. Credit: Declan Van full of Monkeys Joke! The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. What does a donkey do when you tell him a joke? We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. He hears a priest come in. When they're being ridden! Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again.

Good heavens, Patrick, do you realize that if the other engine fails, well be here all night., Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. He thought he'd get a kick out of it! The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. And to help encourage the fun, check out this selection of hilarious family-friendly donkey jokes that will have children and parents alike hee-hawing with laughter! "Alright ol' friend". An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train.

She replies, "He's over in Rome. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. Credit: Declan Van full of Monkeys Joke!

Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. Tell me, Paddy? This one is exhausting Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car? She replied, An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me. 8. (Sister Matic). - How was the Grand Canyon formed? The animal made him proud and won the race. Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the company with his axe and knocked on the Foremans door. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. HEE-HAWnked his horn! Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied.

This impressed the pastor, leading him to enter the donkey in the race a second time. May the devil fly off with your worries. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at.

She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman.

Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts.

Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

You were diddled. You were diddled. They all have keys! Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. A Guide To Weather, Seasons + Climate, How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into.

Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. O'Brien?" "What are you doing at this movie?" Father, it has been two months since my last confession. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. (from UNILAD) Mattia M. 3.5K subscribers Subscribe 16K 2.6M views 4 years ago Scottish Grandma can't stop paul chadwick 264

The president was happy to oblige. ! Well no. what I think is gas, you might think is crap. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. Watch ads now so you can enjoy fewer interruptions Got it Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. Thats my old one!, Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. They worked up along one street and then down the other. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Credit: Declan Van full of Monkeys Joke! A pastor decided to enter his loyal donkey in a racing competition. She just looked at the president and said, Would you like to take my bet? Certainly, replied the president.
The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square.

The new man is hired at a building site. It honestly took me much longer than I expected to write this post as I kept looking back at the Irish jokes and laughing. his advice and was well pleased with the result. The animal made him proud and won the race. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Which is the coldest animal? paul chadwick 264 Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100.

Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Mick, from Dublin, appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and, towards the end of the program, had already won 500,000 euros. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .., Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork.. The other lad filling them in. In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. Long enough to reach the ground! This impressed the pastor, leading him to enter the donkey in the race a second time. Northern Lights in Ireland 2023: Your Guide to Seeing the sky above Ireland Sing, 14 Of The Best Childrens St. Patricks Day Books. - The Kerry man told his friend hed invented a spaceship to go to the sun: No problem well go at night, the Kerry man replied.

Tell me, do you have insurance?. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Inside the bag was the following note Lost! While we are not entirely sure about a donkeys perception of time, in Irish slang donkeys years simply refers to a very, very, long time. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friends house to tell the wife. Sean had long heard of the story of a family tradition. The walls opened, and the lady got between them and got into a small room. The Banshees of Inisherin won no awards despite nine nominations. Your privacy is important to us. Youve done very well so far, said Chris Tarrant, the shows presenter, but for a million euros, youve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. Mother, the nuns asked with earnest, Please give us some wisdom before you leave us. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. When the train came out of the tunnel, Julia Roberts and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Englishman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. Sure is, Patrick. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. May the leprechauns dance over your bed. He said,

Tony, he called.

About five minutes! He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. - Sista-matic. Debra! Oh my God she replied.

Web288K views, 1.3K likes, 48 loves, 738 comments, 2.6K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Irish Post: Robbie O'Sullivan tells a Paddy Irishman joke on the way home from Stags! Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. Crushed by the hurtling train that is Everything Everywhere All at Once, said the Irish Times. What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox?

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. New man: Nope! A Cavan man dropped a nickel down a rabbit hole. A booze and potato joke how original What's an Irish seven-course meal? As he does so, two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. Its your water tank. . Are you going to shear those sheep. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. They didnt do it last year.. The exchange prompted laughter in the Dolby theatre but viewers in Ireland lauded Farrells reply as a pointed riposte to lazy stereotyping. Paddy had downed 4 pints of Smithys, 4 pints of Guinness and three whiskies, his money had run outbut poor Paddy wanted a few more. The man says to her, Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you..

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